I just produced something that is a short on my YouTube um on my smallest device. I didn’t realize that shorts are treated differently than uh videos. So, I’m going to draw this out. And I just had a conversation though. It’s very difficult because of the spirituality, the spiritual state of the two parents of 10 children. And we’ve been having this problem for years. And I finally was able on the on anniversary, I’m not going to figure it out right now, but the anniversary of two deaths in my family, is today, April 19th, 5 days after my birthday.

And if you were to see a copy of my first book, let me remind this video. In September of 2008, my partner turned to me and said, “You are going to write a book and it is called Uncover No More. The day after a demon of insanity talked through my voice and I’m an exorcist and nobody has corroborated my story…..everybody thinks I am false and mentally ill is a generalization.

I’m having panic attacks because I was actually accepted back and I appreciate that. I had a birthday and uh Easter was beautiful and I’ve been informing for years and yet I got some honesty from someone yesterday and you know I just I need to love myself. That’s what the title of the short is and it’s also on Tik Tok. I I need to love myself. I I have given and given……. I have tried to explain spiritual concepts to people and I have been rejected. My mother’s family has literally rejected me for years…. it isn’t understood.

The first person that died five days after my birthday was Robert Paul Davis Beaty and he built uh two houses on a property that I was disinherited from and I was the primary inheritor. My father and his brother built, and others helped and it was a beautiful project uh two different times because our house was put there later. And indeed, the man born on my birthday, my oldest son, inherited. My mother’s family turned on me, and that includes my mother. They were hiding things in their Christian walk that they should not have hidden. I don’t know how many of the siblings of others of my family know…… See, I’m an only child at this point. And it is my testimony that is huge, not others of my second cousins, in other words. And so, I have been very severely isolated. It’s not good for me, and it’s not good for my family. And people can get away with being disrespectful, can get away with calling me psychologically off, can get away with texting me things that, you know, in other times they would not have gotten away with in families like mine. They are simply holding things against me year after year after year.

And that kind of stuff grows. And I need to love myself. and I just turned 60 and I feel like I have lived 60 years of a wasted life. If one is to understand that I am very, very much in love with the idea of reconciliation and rebuilding. I believe in all of my family. I believe in their goodness, and I always have. Uh I know all of the things that have happened. Um, I’ve

4:30

4 minutes, 30 secondsshared it openly and people have a very hard time understanding that if I hadn’t done that, I would be in a much worse

4:39

4 minutes, 39 secondsposition now than I actually am. But at this point, I am very clearly the only

4:46

4 minutes, 46 secondsperson that believes my testimony out in the open.

4:55

4 minutes, 55 secondsSo I am more my spiritual name Tara than I am Cara an coffee.

5:03

5 minutes, 3 secondsAnd I had to sadly push on someone in conversation

5:10

5 minutes, 10 secondsyesterday to get to an understanding of why it’s never turned positive,

5:18

5 minutes, 18 secondsnever balanced out as I just passed the threshold of 60

5:24

5 minutes, 24 secondsyears old. And I have come to understand that most people strongly dislike the ministry of Uncover

5:34

5 minutes, 34 secondsNo More that know me have opinions about me that are never going to go away.

5:46

5 minutes, 46 secondsSo I need to make this statement and this is the anniversary

5:53

5 minutes, 53 secondsthat is longer for Robert Paul Davis Batty than it is for Mary Virginia

6:01

6 minutes, 1 secondClonic Batty who also died. She it took her 10 days excellent care at a facility

6:10

6 minutes, 10 secondsthat was covered by insurance for which I’m very grateful so she could die. In both my father’s

6:18

6 minutes, 18 secondscase and my mother’s case under uncction of the Holy Spirit I knew when to leave the room because they did not want to

6:26

6 minutes, 26 secondsdie with me. Yes, that was painful. I am their only child.

6:35

6 minutes, 35 secondsAnd I’m more alone than anybody ever wants to admit.

6:43

6 minutes, 43 secondsAnd I have people in my life younger than me that believe I am mentally ill and will never stop believing that. And

6:50

6 minutes, 50 secondsthat is not good for my health physically or otherwise.

6:55

6 minutes, 55 secondsand I need to love myself now and stop sacrificing myself for relationships that I need to say goodbye to. However,

7:06

7 minutes, 6 secondsI have had an excellent conversation with my partner and we are not going to

7:13

7 minutes, 13 secondsallow we have come to an agreement. We are not going to allow what happened to

7:20

7 minutes, 20 secondsthis mother to happen to any of our children. And we are going to use the

7:26

7 minutes, 26 secondswill to make sure this happens. In addition,

7:31

7 minutes, 31 secondsI color and have other artwork. I want all 10 of my children to know I will leave you things.

7:41

7 minutes, 41 secondsI will not leave the executives in charge of giving you your things. I will leave instructions. What is clearly

7:50

7 minutes, 50 secondsmarked shall not be destroyed but by the person I am willing it to. Because I’m an artist and a poet.

8:01

8 minutes, 1 secondAfter I die,

8:03

8 minutes, 3 secondsyou will see what I give you in love with you.

8:22

8 minutes, 22 secondsI know what it is to grow a child in me.

8:31

8 minutes, 31 secondsI’m a mother and a lot of women are courageously

8:38

8 minutes, 38 secondsgiving up that idea and growing beautiful communities as

8:46

8 minutes, 46 secondswomen in different ways just like I grow community my way as

8:54

8 minutes, 54 secondswomen. We love community. We hate war and we are rarely heard for who we are.

9:07

9 minutes, 7 secondsThere are various reasons for that. All of us have stories and if you don’t have enough money

9:15

9 minutes, 15 secondsby and large the story is tragic.

9:20

9 minutes, 20 secondsI’ve been around enough. I’ve talked to enough people to understand that the story is tragic.

9:31

9 minutes, 31 secondsAnd I don’t believe in my lifetime that tragedy is going to change in these 50 states. It has gone too far.

9:43

9 minutes, 43 secondsSo I am settling things the way I need to because my

9:52

9 minutes, 52 secondsmemory is already gone. I have I have enough understanding of what people are thinking of me to realize the memory of who I really am is gone.

10:04

10 minutes, 4 secondsIt’s gone.

10:07

10 minutes, 7 secondsAnd I’m the only person left in my family. So,

10:12

10 minutes, 12 secondsit’s time for me to go away and not be a bother anymore.

10:17

10 minutes, 17 secondsI didn’t fail. And I don’t want you to feel like a failure or to feel forced to accept me.

10:26

10 minutes, 26 secondsThat is not what I ever wanted.

10:34

10 minutes, 34 secondsThat is not what I ever wanted. So those who feel wrong because of what happened to me,

10:42

10 minutes, 42 secondsyou can feel right now and you can let me know when you want fellowship with me. I know I’m hard to get along with.

10:52

10 minutes, 52 secondsI’m sorry I am.

10:55

10 minutes, 55 secondsAnd I’m sorry I couldn’t change to make you happy with me. But all of that aside,

11:03

11 minutes, 3 secondsI have poured out my life for other people.

11:11

11 minutes, 11 secondsI’m not proud of it.

11:14

11 minutes, 14 secondsI’m not angry about it. I’m not happy about it. I have really no emotion.

11:21

11 minutes, 21 secondsIt is what was my responsibility to be and to do.

11:29

11 minutes, 29 secondsI have plenty of joy in my life. I have plenty of sadness. I do know how to balance it. I know how.

11:39

11 minutes, 39 secondsBut my wisdom is not wanted.

11:43

11 minutes, 43 secondsAnd so I will keep it to myself and my blogs and my ministry. And I’m fixing the will to bring my conscience at age 60 to peace.

11:59

11 minutes, 59 secondsIt is sad to me, but I have to tell you the dark side. You have rejected the return

12:07

12 minutes, 7 secondsof Jesus Christ in the modern day in my life called uncovered no more on a spiritual level.

12:18

12 minutes, 18 secondsMy spiritual name as the spiritualist I am more Wiccan at this point paleopagan

12:26

12 minutes, 26 secondseclectic pagan at this point than Christian but still I’m a Christian. I I was in the Protestant church for very long time.

12:37

12 minutes, 37 secondsThat’s part of the reason why I had mental issues is because Christianity is too close-minded for someone like me.

12:47

12 minutes, 47 secondsor the man I’ve been privileged to be with a few times in my life.

12:54

12 minutes, 54 secondsMy testimony is true. He doesn’t need to prove anything.

13:02

13 minutes, 2 secondsNeither I I just want everyone to love yourself and love your neighbor. And I want to do the same thing.

13:12

13 minutes, 12 secondsAnd I want to forget most of the past 60 years because of all of the reactions.

13:25

13 minutes, 25 secondsI’m going to fix it where my children are safe and they know my love after I die.

13:35

13 minutes, 35 secondsThat is what I’m going to do.

13:40

13 minutes, 40 secondsThis is Cara C