I don’t actually miss you. I am glad you are no longer suffering. I miss the time we could have spent together uninterrupted by the cares of this world honing in on us for so much of our lives together.
The negativity is atrocious in this day and age, Dad. You and I remember simplicity. For instance….just today here where half of your mingled ashes lay:
I chose to walk to your place without my phone. I hugged two trees, talked to them all and the birds, saw a lizard, and kissed one Beauty Bark Who comforts me.
And I told my Tree Family here taking care of your peaceful place of ashes, how I need to come more, I need to art here, and I need to realize trees are much more comforting than any person I ever knew.
I have people willing to recreate creation now, Dad. I hope that comforts you after what you went through. Thank you for loving me. But the confessions to my daughter today were and are the raw truth and she knows what I am talking about.
I’m not a phone, a laptop, an iPad. I am a person. And no longer is Dr. Seuss correct, you see Dad. A person is nothing anymore.
I had to tell her how the non-emotion state my whole existence existed within is the hard of my life now. At least I color and art. I find ways better to laugh with people.
But when I need true love, the trees are my family henceforth. This life just bleeds mourning for what our time could have been spent on, Dad. It could have been spent on better things than all the negativity you and I seem to have been tasked to handle.
I told somebody last night something that I know isn’t heard at all by anyone: if we would just look at people around us as the privilege they should be, then much of the bickering, the fighting, the competition, might just melt away because we are we; we should look at one another as the grand privilege day by day.
That person understood. I think that person begins to understand me. You are a privilege to me, person. Now when are you going to consider me one too?
Am I only going to be a privilege, am I only going to be respected and honored, when I’m my Ashes where half of my parents’ ashes are contained here? Well, I think to myself, may everyone who knows me be comforted. I am already preparing the trees for Me.
1:22 PMC
The New Jerusalem. 