I realize something today. It is that I wrote letters in the back of my published works. Well here is a letter; and therefore, perhaps I am choosing to leave Uncovered No More “finished” right now until I can save up and publish out this current version and put it on my shelf with my other books. Then I will wipe the blog clean. This is a better option than continuing here as people continue to deny the real me, make messes in my private life, and call it okay as they walk away.
I keep testifying the truth, for He Sets Me free.
And too many people around me say the exact same things–in negativity without coming back to apologize or making sure they invest in my lovely side because they never have time for me–in disagreements when they want to simply prove me wrong in that particular conversation on that particular day.
They have what is called a seared conscience. They made decisions when I was struggling with a high calling in GOD, and they now must be correct in their own eyes no matter what I appear to be to them, and them alone.
I will not tell you what they are saying. It is obvious the people who come around me who are ready to live in love with the Me that is really, truly, Me.
So when I am not where you thought I would be, take it for the olive branch it is. I will not allow you to impact Curtis and the youngest children of my family anymore. You have a nice life. I now must have a nice life. Yes, of course, I’m saying you are not in it. But love….it sets people free by taking an expectation off of you to change who you are to accommodate Me, basically, is what I’m also saying.
You cannot change my decision. You can walk on free from me in every way, shape, aND form. I came to this decision over the year 2020 because I deserve to be loved for exactly who I am. And nobody literally in my life has ever accepted exactly who I am except my father and my brother. They are both gone.
Do you find that hard to believe? That’s your problem. I am honest, I am true to myself and you, and I deserve to be happy too. For too long I did things which were misinterpreted. I have lost too much and nobody wants to believe in restoration when it involves the daughter of Robert Hilton Beaty, Jr.
So be it. This is not goodbye. It is hello to the real me, my real world, and freedom in my mentality. I have thanked everyone as much as possible for dwelling with me or putting up with me through a very hard 12 years. Now, I don’t want to thank anyone for the rest of the baggage you have placed in my life by your free will. But I will equally NOT allow it to come into my artistic, poetic, author, mother, teacher, and lover of life personality. I am a lot of fun. It is your problem that you do not see the fun side of me.
You are too negative. You are too stubborn. You are too right in your own eyes, and that is that. I love you. I do not honestly know if you love me or not. One of my youngest children knew the truth about someone in our lives after I was simply saying what I knew was true. This person told me what that other one was like at times. This fact of the matter today is unacceptable to me. I will not tell you why. I have foresight. I am using it. I see your games. The answer is no.
You wanted and decided to hide things from me for 12 years. You cannot hide from someone you lost of your own free will. You cannot hide from someone who isn’t there even if you do see me and I say hello. You cannot hide from your own reality when you don’t have a scapegoat to blame issues on to keep stirring up trouble.
So now you know your truth from my perspective if the shoe fits. You know if the shoe fits. ~Cara Beaty-Coffey
Now for the real letter from my mother. When you are ready to be in alignment with my mother, you may come back into my life Her Way. This prophetic piece was written in all capital letters nine months before my brother died. I could not let go and write the above letter until I had read her words earlier today as I was working on the front room of our new house.
None of you around me know my mother and my father. I am the only person left who does and I am finished with everyone, and I mean everyone, who does not align with Robert Hilton, Jr and Mary Virginia Klonek-Beaty as it concerns my whole life. You would do the exact same thing if you were me today. If you think you wouldn’t, you are lying to yourself and forgetting what I have been through for 12 years.
The reason the ten years were unhappy is simple. Aunt Shirley had to be tended, Uncle Ken had not yet died but had ALS, and Patrick had already fallen and therefore been diagnosed with a heart condition. She wrote this piece, was given a nine month break, and then lost her brother-in-law and son in September of 1980.
My last child was born and then three months later my life was irrevocably changed. I was given breaks throughout the 12 years to make it. Today is today and it is not coincidence that I happened upon this piece as I was continuing to get our house into the place we here want it. There has been unhappiness here enough that I realize this action is the only option. People hate me or do not care about me. That is a common trait in many people in the United States who do not get their way in one way or another and so complain and pick everyone else apart. Okay, have it your way. But I’m not nor have I ever been that way and I do not want and will not live by the standards of what other people are saying and doing around me that is causing me issues whether they will ever admit it or not. As of today, the answer is most definitely NOT.